When we start our healing journey, for whatever reasons; recovering from heartbreak, burnout, inner child wounds or another major life occurance or situation, we tend to focus on the start and the end. We celebrate our courage to start the journey and we dream of the peace wating for us at the end, once we cross the finish line.
However, no one prepares us for the middle section, right smack bang in it.
The middles of the healing timeline is not glamorous, nor is it comfortable. This foggy space between who we were when we started to who we are becoming. We are not running from the space of our old survival habits, yet our new ways of living haven’t fully developed and settled into our new patterns.
If you are feeling stuck right now, or tired and a bit lost, please know you are not doing anything wrong, you are just in the middle.
Here are 5 honest truths about this stage no one tells you about.
- You are more than likely going to feel worse before you feel better. In the beginning, your self awareness starts to feel empowering, but as you inch closer to the middle bit, your awareness turns the volume up on your feelings. You notice more; every boundary step, you get triggered, notice the people pleasing. You also start to feel irritable, overwhelmed and start questioning everything. This isn’t a sign of regression it is your proof that you are allowing yourself to feel, not numb it out, and giving your nervous system a chance to process.
- Isolation starts to hit differently, as you slowly start to shift your outside world does too. In the middle of healing you start to outgrow the old; habits, situations, groups, people, toxic habits. This part of the middle can feel lonely. Its is temporary, you are leaving things behind that no longer serve you, and your new more aligned community hasn’t arrrived yet fully.
- Your grief can show up in different ways, we expect to grieve what we have lost or moved away from, whom we have lost, yet this middle part forces us to grieve ourselves and the years we spent just surviving, the former version of you that didn’t know better, have the tools or the growth. Giving ourselves permission to mourn our past self or selves is essential to freeing up space for our future.
- Moving forward with progress can become quiet and boring. The start of healing is our breathrough, tears and deep conversations, the true leaning in. The middle is where the progress part starts to become quiet. It’s pausing before pushing through, pausing before replying, choosing rest instead of pushing through burnout, saying ‘no’ with giving an excuse or apologising. This quiet progress, this standing still, these small choices are re writing your nervous system.
- You may feel a pull to go back to what is familiar (don’t). With uncertainty in this middle part of our healing, can feel overwhelming, your brain will crave comfort, the comfort of old survival habits, familiar patterns, even if these patterns and habits were unhealthy. The feeling of wanting to become small and shrink back is human nature, when growth feels uncomfortable. We can recognise here that discomfort is not a red flag telling us to go back, it’s just the growing pain of shedding the old and preparing for the new.
So your gentle reminder here today is; healing is not a straight line, it is ongoing ebbs and flows, and it isn’t something we need to race toward. The middle is where the real work the real alchemy happens. Yes, it is raw, real, messy, quiet, but it is where you rebuild. Be gentle with yourself. You are on the right track. You deserve to live the life you desire with peace, love and joy. I wish this so much for you. I hope you are so proud of how far you have come in your journey, please know you are right on time!
Thank you for reading this here today, please do share with another beautiful woman who may need to read these words today.
For a copy of Healing Her, head to the shop here in this website.
Until next time, stay well beautiful!
Love Megs x
